Thursday, April 21, 2011

How Nice is Too Nice?

  I consider myself a nice person or at least I like to think so.  But sometimes my kindness and generosities are taken for granted.  It's happened to Josh and me many times in the past and just two weeks ago I met a woman and I'm starting to feel taken advantage of all over again.  So I'd like to see what ya'll think about this situation that's been causing me some inner turmoil.
  About 14 days ago Josh and I were coming home from our morning errands and I heard this voice behind me so I turned around.  An elderly woman, about 70 year old asked me where the Water Company is.  Now where I live, the water company is located just a few streets away, but at this point it's also almost 11am and humid like you wouldn't believe so being the nice person I am I offered her a ride.  On the way this woman, let's call her Ruth, told me how she just moved down to Florida from New York all by herself, that she moved into a disgusting, dirty triplex, that she's been living there with no water or electricity for 4 days, at that point, she was running out of minutes on her cell phone and she had no car or any form of transportation.  So at this point, we got to the Water Company and I told her that I would wait for her because it would be way too far and too hot to make her walk home by herself.  So I waited and after she came back she asked me if I could do her just one more favor and take her to the bank.  Why not?  So I took her to the bank because she said she had no more money and minutes on her phone and needed to put minutes on her phone.  We got that accomplished and I took her home.  Come to find out she only lives a couple triplexes down from me.  I offer her my number, she tells me she's out of minutes and has no way of calling so I say, "Well, you stopped by earlier, you know where I live, if you really ever need anything just stop by." 
 During the next 12 days, "Ruth" has come over at all hours of the day and night between the hours of 8 am and 10:30 pm for all kinds of reasons.  I don't have a regular long distance service on my phone, I told her this and she still used my long distance to call NY, Tampa, and a few other places and talked for almost 2 hours.  She offered to pay that night and the next morning at 8 am she came by and offered to pay again, only this time with Clipper Cigarillos.  I don't know about you, but AT&T won't accept my phone bill in Cigarillos.  I've also taken her to Walmart several times to purchase off the wall items like Bubble Wrap, just to pop the bubbles.  Don't get me wrong I'm very frustrated but I'm also VERY concerned about "Ruth".  She's down here by herself.  One of the first encounters I had with her was at her home with a cordless phone she purchased from a thrift store.  She plugged the power cord in but the phone didn't come with a phone jack cord.  She was clueless as to what the phone jack cord was or what it even did.  I also took her to a Dollar store to purchase another phone with a jack cord and she purchased a $5 phone.  A few days later she came to my house to argue with me about the phone saying that the woman from AT&T told her on the phone that the phone we bought from the dollar store was a Trac phone and it won't work without a computer.  
The most frustrating of all though is her rudeness, she comes into my home at 10:30 at night one Saturday night to call a local Church, she tells me it's an emergency.  She calls their emergency line, gets on the phone with the poor girl and tells her that she just moved down here and she's without a phone and she needs to speak with a pastor.  When the girl tells her that he's at home with his family Ruth tells the girl to call the pastor and tell him to get over to her home right now and let her give confession so she can go to church on Sunday.  She then screamed out "You will do this, In Mary's Name" and slammed my phone down. After the Pastor called back and told me to tell her she'd have to wait until Monday she was livid!
I'm at my wit's end! It's not just the fact that she needs so much help, she's embarrassing, she's rude, she's obnoxious and she's argumentative.  I know it's not my responsibility and I'm getting really stressed out about this whole mess.  It would be one thing if she just wasn't so inconsiderate.  I took her to the thrift store the day before yesterday and told her I could only take her if it was going to be quick.  Not only did she take 45 minutes with me sitting in the hot car but come to find out she was trying to return something!  Who does that?!  What would you do? 


  1. Wow, you may want to call the welfare office in your area...maybe she needs some help...maybe its not the kind of help you can offer hun...sounds like you have done way more than your share.

  2. At this point darlin you have done all you can. She needs help from your local department of adult health or something. Sounds like a little deminshia or something

  3. I agree with the previous comment. You have done all that you can and maybe it is times to throw in the towel. I would just kindly tell her that there is nothing you can do for her anymore and to please let you be and her do her own thing. You have done way more then I would have. It sounds like she is starting to take advantage of you.
    Following from

  4. What you did was in kindness and love. There is nothing wrong with you. You are a caring human being, and most people are not like you and would have been so generous. You did your job, your place in heaven is there kido. Now you need to stop and do the last thing and explain to her, you have to many other obligations, husband,son,job, and explain that you did not think she would be needing you so much and you are not able to do it. Ask her if she wants you to find a social worker for her. I bet she will leave you alone, she probably has been this way to everyone she has come into contact with in life. Plus what 70+ year old woman in her right mind would move state to state alone? She is probably from around another corner in your hometown. Be careful ! Scammers all of all walks of life and ages !

  5. You have done much more than most people would have done, I would suggest what a few other commenter's have said called APS or even your local senior center, they will be able to figure out what she needs and help her. I just hopped by from the Alexa hop and I am now your newest GFC follower. Have a Happy Easter and good luck with "Ruth"

  6. Oh my goodness, I can't imagine the frustration. My grandmother has Alzheimers but it set on fast and most of the things she did while loosing her mind were funny not bothersome or rude to others. I agree with the others that it may be time for her to be checked out by a Dr.

    Stopping by from the Alexa hop, and following you blog now.

  7. BLOG HOPping around with Alexa - I am now a follower of your blog, wont you also follow me?? ~KM
    Krafty Max Originals

  8. I am not sure how I would handle that but I might not have seemed so nice about things after while. I had a lady once ask me for a ride, I gave her one then she started stalking me, every time I went to my car she wanted a ride. I was not giving her one any more because she bought beer and drank it while I was in a store and then threw the can under may car. I did not notice until after the fact. I was livid.

    Stopping by from Alexa hop.

  9. Oh goodness, that is quite the situation. Move to another place. J/K not sure how I would handle that. I am stopping by from Alexa hop. I hope to see you soon at Ashley


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